December Topic

Tell me a secret.

//Locked from everyone//

Lucas has a secret.

It’s the kind of secret that could kill, not just figuratively but literally. Nobody knows, and it will stay that way if he can help it. This is the secret that will end everything, dash all his hopes and steal away all the dreams he ever had.

He can’t. He just can’t lose what he has, not after working so hard for it.

It’s not fair.

He’s angry and he’s confused, completely lost as to how to deal with this secret of his, but he knows he cannot lose what he’s fought so hard to fight. Come too far to fall now, can’t stop now and won't let something like this slow him down.

It might kill him, but right now he thinks living without never knowing what he’s capable of is worse than dying because he didn’t know how to stop. Somewhere, deep in the back of his mind, he knows it’s crazy and it’s not right, and people would kill him, but this isn’t about anyone else - it’s all about him. For the first time in his life, this secret is all about him, and nobody else could ever understand it.

It’s not fair.

He’s so tired of getting the short end of the stick, and he tries not to resent Nathan, and he wishes he could be a bigger and better man, but he can’t . Not when Nathan has everything he should have had, but never did, and sometimes he’s okay with that and other times he wishes for the life Nathan has.

Lucas has a secret.

He’s inherited Dan’s HCM and unless he takes his medication (medication he can't afford himself) and does everything the doctors tell him to do there’s a chance he could die.

Not that anybody knows.

Muse: Lucas Eugene Scott
Fandom: One Tree Hill
Word Count: 300

38A: Who is your best friend?

Haley James Scott.

And she has been since we first met, there was this instant connection and I knew right then and there that there was nobody else to fill that spot at my side. What is there to say about Haley? Aside from the fact she kicks ass? She's a law onto herself and she takes no prisoners, and she smacks me around the head when I need it.

She's been here my whole life and she's supported me when I've needed her to be there, and we have fought, but we made up. That's what true friendship is. Being able to fight but caring enough to forgive and forget, welcome that person back into your life with open arms. I've never known anything but acceptance with Haley and I wouldn't give that up for anything in this world or the next.

It's not that I think she's perfect, because she's not. None of us are. But it's all those flaws and all those imperfections that make her whole and real. Haley's strong, independent and amazing. The way she stands up for the people she loves and how hard she fights for her family and for her right to be her own person and do her own things.

I can remember every important event in my life and for the most part Haley has always been there, standing tall and proud right by my side. Yeah, we've had problems and we haven't always seen eye to eye but I know that if I need her Haley will be there, no questions asked.

She's my best friend and I never want another.

Love you, Haley.

Muse: Lucas Eugene Scott
Fandom: One Tree Hill
Word Count: 275

November Topic

The Song Remembers When
by Trisha Yearwood

Well, for all the miles between us
And for all the time thats passed
You would think I havent gotten very far
And I hope my hasty heart
Will forgive me just this once
If I stop to wonder how on earth you are

Lucas Eugene Scott had made a choice, he’d chosen to remove himself from Tree Hill before he made a bigger mess of everything. He’d hurt two girls that meant the world to him and that hadn’t been his intention but he hadn’t thought and now he was stood on a strange beach finding his thoughts wandering back to them and Tree Hill.

Perhaps the shaved head symbolised the change he was trying to make, him trying to leave behind the Lucas Scott he’d stopped recognising the moment he’d gotten popular and Cheerleaders had started undressing in the backseat of his car.

God, how had life gotten so crazy?

One minute he was the bastard Scott brother and the next he was the biggest star on the basketball team and everybody wanted a piece of him. It was a rollercoaster ride and with every rise and fall it had taken, Haley and his friends from the Rivercourt had been there, and it was only now he was beginning to realise that maybe in order to go forward he needed to go back.

But he couldn’t go back, could he? He’d made this big song and dance about getting away and putting distance between himself and all the mistakes he’d made, mistakes he’d tried to fix.

The truth was as beautiful as Charleston was it wasn’t Tree Hill and he often found himself turning to tell Haley a funny story about his day but had to stop himself because she wasn’t there and it wasn’t the same on the telephone.

The really messed up thing was when Keith came to him to tell him that Dan had had a heart attack Lucas had seen a chance and he’d jumped on it, not because of any loyalty to Dan but out of the hope that maybe if he went back he could make things better. It was pointless him being this so far away and thinking about Tree Hill and everybody he’d left behind, not if he didn’t intend on doing anything about who he’d become and what he’d done.

Sometimes to go forward you first have to go back.

Muse: Lucas Eugene Scott
Fandom: One Tree Hill
Word Count: 357

I'm Lucas Scott but don't let the surname fool you I'm nothing like my half brother or my father but my uncle - Keith Scott - now there's a man I would love to take after.

For a while I was the Scott that nobody knew because Nathan was a bigshot in high school, star of the school basketball team. Then I got a break and suddenly my life turned upside down, thank God for Haley or who knows what would have happened to me.

I got into this really complicated highly dramatic love triangle with Brooke Davis and Peyton Sawyer. I thought I wanted Brooke but turns out I wanted Peyton, it was an ugly mess and I ended up becoming somebody I didn't like.

It took me leaving Tree Hill for me to realise that I wasn't Lucas Scott anymore, I was what everybody else wanted me to be. I know I came back to Tree Hill because Keith was worried about Dan after the heart attack but truth be told I came back to remember who I was and get back in touch with the guy I was before popularity struck.

After I came back there was no Brooke and there was no Peyton, there was just me and my friends from the Rivercourt. I just didn't want the life that Nathan had, not anymore. I never realised what a horrible life it was.

It's not that I stopped playing ball, I just gave up on the race and I refused to be boxed in by everybody else's expectations of me. But the basketball dream I had all my life was ended even before I got out of high school.

Dan Scott's my father but honestly he's more like a sperm donor, he never gave me anything but grief and misery. But Dan did give me one thing, he gave me HCM, his heart condition. Means I can't do anything physically exerting for more than fifteen minutes at most and I'll be on medication all my life and if things get worse then surgery is an option.

But you know what? It doesn't matter if I can't play ball. My mom's proud of me, Keith's proud of me, Haley's proud of me and I have the full support of my friends.

I'm not going to let something that might not happen stop me from doing what I want to do in my life. I may not be able to play ball but I can do other things and I'm currently pursuing a chance at becoming a writer.

Maybe I'll fall flat on my face and maybe I won't but at least I'll have Haley there no matter what.

32C: "I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special. " – Steel Magnolias

Lucas has been staring at his pill bottle for the last thirty minutes, he knows he should take one but this is the last game, the last one he’ll ever play, and he can’t quite bring himself to take the medication that’ll slow him down and hamper his performance.

It’s not about wanting the scouts to see him, it’s not about wanting to pursue a career in basketball because he knows that’s never going to happen; it’s about living and breathing what he’s loved for a better part of his life.

It’s not like he’s going to get another chance.

He’s risking his life and he knows just how much he has to lose and how much is at stake but a part of him just doesn’t care, not when it means he can play like he used to, like he always had and knows he can.

Instead of taking the pills like he has every other game he puts them back into his locker, ignoring them and instead turns his attention to laughing with the guys and rallying them around to the idea that they’re not going to lose.

He’d rather have this moment of greatness than live a lifetime never knowing if he ever had it in him.

Muse: Lucas Eugene Scott
Fandom: One Tree Hill
Word Count: 210

28A: Are you a disappointment to anyone, or is someone proud of you for your accomplishments?

I guess you could say I’m bit of both.

My dad always used to say I was a disappointment and that I wasn’t good enough to carry the name Scott, but Dan was an idiot, and I shouldn’t have listened to him the way that I did. Guess you could say I was desperately looking for something stupid like approval from the guy that was partly responsible for me being here on planet Earth.

But you know what my mom and Keith taught me?

Family isn’t what’s in your blood, it’s the people that care about you and are there for you, and so in retrospect I could say that the only father I ever truly knew was proud beyond words.

I mean granted I’ve had my moments where I’ve disappointed someone, but who hasn’t? Everybody makes mistakes, it’s part of being human and growing up. You wouldn’t know how to be an adult if you hadn’t made a couple errors in judgment when you were younger.

I’m lucky because I have my mom and Haley, and I know no matter how many times I might disappoint them they’ll always be proud of who I am and what I’ve managed to achieve.

Muse: Lucas Eugene Scott
Fandom: One Tree Hill
Word Count: 257

19C: "His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere." Mark Twain

Dan Scott.

Yeah, I know we, and by that I mean the residents of Tree Hill, talk about him a lot but really with a guy like Dan Scott you can’t help yourself.

For years he’s been a bastard, tormenting everybody and denying my existence and then one day he turns over this new leaf and he’s really stupid enough to think people are just going to take it at face value?

You know a lot of people say that Dan didn’t know how well loved Keith was but that’s a lie, Dan knew and he hated him for that. The last straw was my mom, Karen. I know he said he killed Keith because he thought Keith had tried to kill him but I think there was a lot more to it than that, a lot more.

Keith had everything Dan wanted but never had because of the choices he made and the person he was underneath the facades and half truths.

Dan just couldn’t understand why a guy like Keith could have so many people in this town who loved him, he wasn’t rich and he wasn’t powerful, and in Dan’s world that didn’t make for a loveable kind of guy.

Shows how much Dan knew about life, people and what is important in life. It’s not how much money you have or how much power you can hold over any one person, it’s family, friends, and being there when you’re needed.

It was Dan’s ignorance and his absolute stupidity that led him to rot in jail. His brother loved him and would have loved him for the rest of his life if he’d only had the sense to see beyond his jealousy and actually accepted that he’d never be Keith but he could be Dan Scott, a man people could love if he’d only let go of every misconception he had about this world and the people in it.

Pity it took killing his brother to realise how much was there for him if he’d only tried a little harder.

Muse: Lucas Eugene Scott
Fandom: One Tree Hill
Word Count: 343

12C: "Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family." - Anthony Brandt

If you start and end with family then Lucas thinks this is fitting – him holding a gun to the man that never wanted him in the first place and took away the only father he’d ever had.

Everybody thinks he’s suffering some knock on effect from Keith’s death, he isn’t thinking straight but the truth is he’s the only one thinking straight, he’s the only one that knows the truth and nobody cares.

Jimmy killed Keith, it’s all he’s heard over and over again but it’s a lie. It’s a lie because Lucas knows it’s a lie, Abby told him as much. Dan shot Keith, he killed him, in cold blood and he has to pay for that.

Nobody sees what Lucas sees, nobody knows what he knows and even when he’s tried to tell them they haven’t believed him. What else is he supposed to do? There’s nothing else - this is the only way.

If life starts and ends with family then let this end with Dan, let his lies die with him.

Keith deserves better than this, he deserves more from everyone and Lucas doesn’t care if it means spending the rest of his life in jail, Dan shouldn’t be allowed to get away with killing Keith.

Most of all, he doesn’t deserve Lucas’ mom. She’s all Lucas has left and he’ll do whatever he has to, to protect her and if that means killing Dan with Debbie’s gun then so be it. It’ll be worth it.

Let this end where it all began, Lucas squeezes the trigger.

Muse: Lucas Eugene Scott
Fandom: One Tree Hill
Word Count: 261

12B: Kids on a beach

It wasn’t often that Lucas and Haley got to see the ocean, not often at all. But it had been such a beautiful three day weekend that his mother and his uncle Keith had relented and it would have been hard to resist those big eyes. Lucas and Haley worked very well as a team, especially when they both wanted the same thing.

They’re both such open and loving children that it’s hard to believe that Lucas is a fatherless son and all credit for that is to go to his mother and Keith, for stepping in when Dan was too cowardly to do the same and Haley's parents have done a good job with their daughter, even if at times they seem a little eccentric.

There are no words to describe the joy on their faces when they finally see the beach and hear the ocean lapping at the shallow shores and it takes less than thirty seconds for both kids to go flying towards the golden promised land.

Keith laughs because Karen’s left looking after them forlornly with an unused bottle of sun tan lotion in her hand, she’ll be lucky if she so much as gets a dab of it on either of the children’s noses.

Lucas and Haley attack the ocean the same way they seem to do with everything else in their life, head on and fearless. It’s obvious that they intend on living life to the fullest and it’s hard not to smile at the way they’re so comfortable with each other and are content to just live in the moment.

The best thing about being a kid is that you can do that, you can live and breathe building sand castles and you don’t have to worry about anything else. You embrace everything and you take every second like it’s the most precious thing in the world.

Lucas and Haley were completely caught up in that day.

They felt everything including the sand between their toes, the salt on their skin and the red sting of a burn one day later, but it was a reminder of their day at the beach so they didn’t complain, even if they did try to scratch it …repeatedly.

It had been a great day at the beach, sun burn and all.

Muse: Lucas Eugene Scott
Fandom: One Tree Hill
Word Count: 384

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	5.4
Mind:	5.7
Body:	4.7
Spirit:	5.9
Friends/Family:	5
Love:	6.9
Finance:	3.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Hmm, can anyone else see where my problem areas are?

After his …checkup instead of going home Lucas had gone to the café where he’d proceeded to drown or more accurately eat away his sorrows in some of his mother’s chocolate cake. Not that it worked for long, his mind went right back to the appointment with the doctor.

Lucas blew out a breath and pulled out his journal to flick through it, scribbling down an idea or two before rapping his knuckles against the counter. He should go home, talk to his mom and tell her about what the doctor told him.

But he really didn’t want to.

Instead he packed up some of the cake and decided to visit Haley, he was pretty sure she could do with some cake and distraction from revising. That was if she’d actually got any done.

Plus it would be nice to see her and take his mind off everything else, HCM included.

Lucas packed up his things and headed over to her apartment, pausing to rap his knuckles against the door.

“Haley James Scott, I come bearing gifts so open up.”

11: Are we really in control of our lives?
(Old Topic)

Lucas was fighting hard not to fidget, trying hard to focus on anything but the sterile walls and the disturbing sound of shoes squeaking across polished floors. It was difficult at best.

He should have been used to this by now. This was his monthly check up, it happened on the same day at the same time, but it still instilled a fear in him like he’d never felt before.

His mom hadn’t been able to come with him this time, the café was short staffed and it wasn’t like the doctor would tell him anything new. He’d just check he was taking his pills, run a couple tests and ask to see the journal he’d told Lucas to keep ever since they’d gone to him for advice that first time.

Some days he felt like he’d lost all control over his life.

Lucas slouched down into the plastic chair and threaded his hands through his hair restlessly, licking his lower lip and coaching himself through the motions. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done this before.

Nothing would change, everything would be fine, but he had thought that before.

“Lucas Scott?”

Lucas looked up from his wandering thoughts and nodded. “That’s me.”

The nurse smiled at him. “The doctor will see you now.”

Lucas gave her a small fleeting smile and got to his feet, picking up his bag and trailing along the hallway until letting himself into the room that seemed like a second home.

“Take a seat, Lucas. I’ll be right with you.”

He did as he was told, just sat down and distracted himself from everything running through his head by looking at the posters plastered all over the walls. Some people had things a lot worse than he did.

Eventually his doctor turned to him. “So, how’re things?”

Lucas looked back at him and shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”

“You guess?”

Lucas nodded his head. “I uh …I’ve been having some chest pains lately and I’ve not been sleeping well.” He rummaged through his bag and produced his journal. “I wrote it all down like you told me to do.”

The doctor took Lucas’ journal and flicked through it, the crease in his brow furrowing as his eyes scrolled over the information Lucas had written down. “You’ve been taking your medication?”

When would people stop asking him that?

Lucas just nodded. “I have.” Wasn’t like there wasn’t a day that didn’t go by when he didn’t, when his mother didn’t remind him or somebody forgot to prod him. He couldn’t remember days without his HCM medication, he really couldn’t.

The doctor nodded, making a note on Lucas’ records. “And how frequently are you having the chest pains?”

“Um, every couple of days?” Lucas offered.

The doctor nodded again, Lucas hated when he did that. “And when you can’t sleep, is it because you can’t physically reach a point where you feel tired enough to sleep? Or can you sleep but something wakes you up?”

“Nightmares,” Lucas confessed. God, he hated this. He really did. If he thought it would do him any good he just wouldn’t tell the doctor, but it wouldn’t so here he was …baring his soul. “I have nightmares.”

“I see,” the doctor mumbled. “Is your mother aware of this?”

Lucas had told her he wasn’t sleeping but hadn’t expressed the reason behind the lack of it, hadn’t felt he should worry her given her …pregnancy and all. “She knows I’m not sleeping.”

The doctor nodded again, scribbling another few notes and after what felt like an eternity he looked up and made direct eye contact with Lucas. “Okay, Luke, this is what I want to do. Get you in for some tests, see if we can’t determine what’s causing the chest pains and the nightmares. May have to change your medication or we might have to look at other options.”

“Other options?”

“Um, yes, but I can’t discuss those with you until you have an adult present.”

Lucas swallowed a little and nodded his head. “Yeah, sure. Of course.” He rubbed at his hair almost nervously. “So, what would you suggest I do in the mean time?”

“Keep taking your medication and be sure to get a lot of rest.”

Great, more rest. Just what he needed. “Sure, I can do that.” Like he had a choice.

His doctor nodded. “I’ll be in touch in the next couple days to arrange your tests.”

Lucas picked up his bag and took the journal from the doctor along with a repeat prescription just to tide him over until they could get him in for those tests. “Thanks, doc.”

After saying goodbye, Lucas saw himself out and tried to remember that this wasn’t the end of the world. Other options didn’t necessarily mean anything bad, right?

Lucas really felt like he had no control over any of this, all he could do was take his medication and hope for the best. It wasn’t very reassuring, not in the slightest.

God, this sucked.

Muse: Lucas Eugene Scott
Fandom: One Tree Hill
Word Count: 836

Because I have to do what everyone else is doing, obviously.

( That question meme thing )

Your Life Path Number is 6

Your purpose in life is to help others You are very compassionate, and you offer comfort to those around you. It pains you to see other people hurting, and you do all in your power to help them. You take on responsibility, and don't mind personal sacrifice. You are the ultimate giver. In love, you offer warmth and protection to your partner. You often give too much of yourself, and you rarely put your own needs first. Emotions tend to rule your decisions too much, especially when it comes to love. And while taking care of people is great, make sure to give them room to grow on their own.

Because those question memes are intimidating me right now.

10A: Who do you admire or emulate?

If I admire anyone it’s my mother and it’s for a lot of reasons.

She’s strong, independent and she’s got this way of taking on the world that leaves me awestruck. Not a lot of people realise just how tough it is for a parent to raise a child by themselves with practically no support from the people supposed to care about you. My mom did it and I don’t think I’ve turned out too badly so I really admire her for that.

I know that having me ruined whatever plans she had for her life but she still had me and she gave me everything she could. Best of all, she taught me how to be myself and how to be a good upstanding human being who actually cares about people.

My mother deserves all the admiration in the world just because of who she is and what she’s done in her life.

If I try to emulate anyone it’s my uncle Keith just because of who he was and how he was. He was so honest and so genuine with everything he did that people loved him for it. He was there for me, every step of the way when my father - his brother - wasn’t.

How many guys do you know that would step in and take on the responsibility of someone else’s kid?

Keith was a stand up guy with a good heart and a fierce loyalty to the people he loved, he never let us down and he never held anything against either me or my mom for holding him back and keeping him in Tree Hill. He was my uncle but honestly he was the closest thing I ever had to a father and I’ll never forget that.

If I turn out half as well as both my mom and Keith then I’ll be a very lucky man,

Muse: Lucas Eugene Scott
Fandom: One Tree Hill
Word Count: 315